Our lives changed drastically, dramatically when J came to the Rez for his first mission trip in the summer of 2016. I didn’t realize at the time what an impact that trip would have on our family. I didn’t realize the enormous responsibility God was placing in our hands. Daily, I get a reminder just how much we are responsible for in our new home.
This week was busy. Full of light and laughter and long talks with precious families who love Jesus and who have entrusted themselves, their ministries and their hearts to my family. By the end of the week though, I was tired. My heart was heavy with some things that were absolutely out of my control. Things I was praying through, people I was praying over and waiting on His timing…and I was weary. Weariness is the enemy’s greatest tool against me. When I am tired, when I am discouraged, the lies of the enemy hold so much power…because I allow them too.
We have many children who are in and out of our home. Some with strong families, some with no family, some with hearts so broken and untrusting they don’t know up from down. Some-despite all odds, despite the deck being completely stacked against them are joyful. These are the ones who break me. Jesus uses them, their story, their faith and hope that things will be better to teach me so much about myself.
I have fallen head over heels, madly in love with the children on this Reservation. My Father has allowed them to touch a place in my heart I thought I had worked through.
Several years ago, J and I began the process to foster to adopt a precious, beautiful baby boy. For reasons that didn’t make sense to me at the time, we were unable to move forward in the process. Losing that baby destroyed me for awhile. He had pricked a place in my heart I didn’t know was tender. The first time those chubby little tanned hands reached for me and he fell asleep on my chest, I felt I couldn’t breathe. Jesus had other plans for that beautiful boy AND for me. He had plans for Little Man and for a wild adventure into the desert. An adventure I wouldn’t change now, if I could. But-that beautiful boy, with his chubby little hands changed the way I saw life. I can look at that time now and see how He was preparing my heart for such a time as this. A time when every day my heart is pricked and pierced for the beautiful, brown hands that want to hold mine. For the beautiful brown eyes that look at me and trust me and wholeheartedly believe me when I tell them how much Jesus loves them. For the beautiful little boys and girls who stand in such stark contrast to my blue eyed, blonde haired Sissy and love our family anyway. Brokenness has become a way of life for me. And on really tough weeks, when I hear a really hard story, a story of a little one who just needs a safe, stable home or enough food or clean clothes or safety…period, I get weary. I get overwhelmed and tired and the enemy prowls.
He prowls but he doesn’t win. My God does. It is when I feel at my lowest that my Abba Daddy sends in the big guns…in the form of precious, beautiful prayer warriors. Ladies and gentleman who are passionate about prayer. Men and women who are passionate about obedience to Christ. Folks who genuinely love my family…respect why we moved here and see the ways in which we’ve grown. Yesterday, His warrior was the volleyball coach I met in the fall. A fellow homeschool Mama who lives three hours away. She sent me a text, telling me she had been praying Galatians 6:9 and 2 Timothy 2:1 over me and my family all day.
“…be strong in the grace that is Christ Jesus….”-2 Tim. 2:1
”…let us not grow weary in doing good…”-Gal. 6:9
I love that He knows my heart. I love that He is constantly at work for my good and for the good of my family. I love that He consistently drops people into my life who are willing to step out on faith and pray bold prayers.
So-if you’re reading these ramblings of mine, will you boldly pray for these beautiful children with whom I’ve fallen in love? Will you pray for their hearts to be soft in a world that is hard? Will you join me in believing their futures are bright and that His plans for them are only good?
We are blessed by these beautiful people and by a God who sees and loves us all.
Beautiful Harvest Project 