Love covers…

Today, one year ago, I came to the Rez for the first time. Angry, bitter and confused about how J could so clearly hear God’s voice when I couldn’t and so unsure about what our life would look like here, I walked into the desert for the first time.

…what a step it was…what a walk it’s been.

Today, as I took care of some things for my girls, I was listening to the John Mayer station on Pandora. A song I’ve listened to more than enough times to know the lyrics came on and I looked at my dear friend, Cam, and asked her to read me the lyrics. They are as follows:

“Pain throws your heart to the ground

Love turns the whole thing around

Fear is a friend who’s misunderstood

But I know the heart of life is good”

-John Mayer, The Heart of Life

It was perfect in every way. Today, as I attended church with several familiar faces and some new, I thought about the change I’ve seen in my own heart since last summer.

The pain I felt in moving here was tangible. Sometimes it was so strong I felt I couldn’t breathe. There were days, especially early on, I thought it would win…and then a little brown hand would reach out for mine. A precious Mama would reach out for me to love her babies. A neighbor would need dinner for the night. You see, all the brokenness I felt was being used to mend my already broken heart. The thing is, my heart was broken in ways I’d never realized until I moved to the Rez.

Now, in its place, is my beautiful, patched up, worked over, scarred up heart…and its good.

The reality is exactly what John Mayer’s song says… pain, really will knock you off your feet. Fear is a friend because it pushed me deeper into the life giving, renewing depths of who He created me to be…and at the end of the day-LOVE turns it all around.

We’ve been in a beautiful, craziness the past month and I’ve repeated on more than one occasion, to more than one person that love covers a multitude of things…a multitude of sins and hurts and hang ups.

At the heart of it all, at the heart of this Rez life, it is good. 

So-as I head into my second VBS week on the Rez, I’m reminding myself how good life is, how good love is and how my God can take any ole heart and turn it for good.